4 people you find in every gym class
Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be another one of those “FUCK January-gym-goers” posts. I mean, Christ, if you’re not smashing the gym in January after weeks of food and alcohol abuse, you didn’t do Christmas right in my opinion.
That said, it’s around this time of year that all the… how should I put it? That all the ‘characters’ don their spandex and crawl out of the woodwork right into your 6am Legs, Bums and Tums class.
Here’s who you can expect to see:
The Fit Nan
Feeling bad about all those celebrations you practically snorted in December? Well you’re about to feel much, much worse. Talk about life in the old girl; this woman can move… and she doesn’t even seem to be breaking a sweat. There she is, pushing 70 and killing it, while you’re struggling to keep up and wondering if you’re even going to make 30 after the brutality of this class.
Whatever gym class you go to; whether it’s kickboxing or pilates, there will invariably be a gang of teenage girls, snapchatting the entire thing. They’re a dangerous species, The Plastics. They’re overly dramatic and irritating… but you don’t dare snarl them and put yourself at risk of public ridicule. Instead, you just roll your eyes and dry to drown them out with the sound of your own heartbeat.
The girl who’s in hangover hell
You know when you wake up after a night out feeling fresh as fuck, despite necking 4 tequilas and god only knows how many glasses of wine? That’s exactly what happened to this poor doll; she woke up feeling fine, amazing even, and decided to channel this new found lease of life into the fit graft. Mid way through the class, however, she’s sober up. Her mouth is drier than a sandpit, her head is pounding. All she wants to do is eat cheesy chips and gently weep at her poor life choices, but instead she’s trying not to cry at the back of the class.
The Token Lad
Whether it’s kickboxing or yoga, there’s invariably one, token male at the back. You think he’s there to perve, but really, he’s probably just there to try something new or get fit after a sporting injury. Leave the poor lad be!