How to be single on Valentine’s Day
You’ve literally just got over spending New Year’s Eve single, (and having to get your midnight neck off the resident dog at the house party) and now it’s Valentine’s day and you can’t move for red hearts, people talking about their loved-up plans and annoying family members asking when you’re going to ‘settle down’.
You know Valentine’s day is ‘just another day’; a money-maker created by Hallmark to sell sweat-shop toys to dickheads – but, between you and me (and we’d never admit this to anyone) being single on February 14th can sometimes feel pretty shit.
I mean, it’s not all doom and gloom. On the bright side, you don’t have to shave your legs, or pretend to like Spar’s own chocolate, or get dolled up on a fucking Wednesday just to go to Pizza Express and eat a set menu you don’t really like, before going home for a-bit-bloated sex.
Yeah, being single on Valentine’s Day can actually be a blessing, when you think about it!
But there are some things you need to keep in mind to make sure you get through the day in a calm, collected and sane way:
DO: Treat yourself
You know who the real love of your life is? You. So treat your number one to some Valentine’s chocolates – and I mean good ones, not the Tesco’s own shit that half of these girls are getting off their fellas.
Jenny Wren do a whole selection of gorgeous treats, and have the added bonus on coming in cute AF boxes that are perfect for holding things like, earrings, necklaces, and the souls of your ex-boyfriends.
DON’T: Send yourself flowers
By all means, buy yourself some flowers if you want – but please, honey, don’t send them ‘anonymously’ to the office just to have Janet from accounts off. Babe, you’re so much better than that.
DO: Get your kicks.
Just cos you’re single doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun. Who needs a lad in their life when you can invest in a quality vibrating rabbit from So Divine that won’t spend 4 hours playing COD then fart in bed?
DON’T: Go out with someone just for the sake of it.
Ok, before you start panic-swiping on Tinder, or finally succumb to David from HR’s sleazy advances, let’s just remember that it’s only a Wednesday night. You don’t have to throw all your standards out the window in the fear of dying alone just yet. Spending the night pampering yourself and drinking prosecco is a much better option.
As I’ve already said, a pamper-night is much better than going out with some creep just for something to do. Why wait for a man when you can treat yourself? Grab a glass of wine, put a face pack on and run yourself a gorgeous bath with some Olverum Bath Oil – while everyone else is dealing with stubble rashes from their boyfriends, your skin will be silky smooth!
DON’T: Stalk your ex
Stalking past loves should be a hard no any day of the year, but V-day is definitely not the day to accidentally-on-purpose stumble across the insta account of some prick who broke your heart. Nostalgia has a funny way of twisting those bad memories and convincing you that you miss people. Babe, you don’t. You deserve better. So stay away from his social media!