10 things University will teach you
Well, it’s official – we’re a just mere month away from a new wave of students descending on Liverpool, bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready for their first year of uni.
The ‘Freshers Night’ posts are circulating Twitter and the keenest of the keen are already trying to make Facebook groups for their halls in the desperate attempt to start the week with a solid foundation of people to get drunk with.
So, new students, before you hit our gorgeous city like the proverbial bull in a china shop, here are some things your uni experience will quickly teach you:
1. The whole ‘pre-drinking will make our night cheaper’ idea is a myth. It will just make you cheaper. It’s also a great way to find yourself getting kicked out of a club at 11pm for trying to sing karaoke down the DJ’s microphone on Drum and Bass night. Don’t get me wrong, I’m playing the responsible adult card and suggesting you don’t do it – frankly, the best part of any student night out is the pre-drinks. I’m just saying it’s going to be eventful.
2. By your third week in halls you will completely resent having to spend your drinking money on things you have taken for granted your entire life; like toothpaste.
3. Surviving for nearly 64 hours on a six pack of the Asda’s own red bull, a pro plus and a packet of quavers is not only completely possible, but will become the norm during exam week every term.
4. It’s also entirely possible to survive for two straight weeks koka noodles and kid’s multivitamins. Sometimes just the noodles.
5. Every group of friends will have one person who ends up being the designated pre-drink host, who’s room everyone congregates to before any night out. Under no circumstances become this person. Unless, of course, you’re happy to lose your deposit because someone thought it would be a ‘fun idea’ to drink an entire bottle of Martini before playing rounders with a hockey stick.
6. Washing up liquid and shampoo are rare commodities that should be rationed and used as leverage wherever possible. They will be abused if left in the shower/kitchen for everyone.
7. Moving away from the town you grew up in will help you realise exactly who your real friends are and who you want to keep in your life.
8. Group projects were created by the Devil himself in an effort to divide the human race. They will teach you that the most intelligent people often have absolutely no common sense.
9. Your mum is Superwoman.
10. Never take toilet roll for granted.